Monday, October 17, 2011

7 Reasons Why Braces Suck

(Don't worry, they're fake.  If they weren't, this would be incredibly gross...)

1. The Ability to Whistle Vanishes Entirely or is Significantly Reduced.  Personal Experience.  When I was younger and my teeth were "screwed up" (my mother admits that my teeth weren't that bad.  They could have been much worse, any way), I was able to whistle quite loudly.  My childhood friends and I would hold impromptu contests to see who could whistle the loudest.  Most of the time, I would win.  Sometimes my friends got lucky.  Five or six years ago, when I got my braces off, I found that I could not whistle.  Or when I could muster up a whistle, it was absolutely pathetic.  It's because my teeth have shifted so that they're the "right way" and now they have no whistling capability.  Or a very reduced whistling capability.

2. Flossing is Impossible.  My orthodontists and dentist kept giving me these strange flossing wands so that I could floss.  They still give them to me now because I have a permanent retainer on my bottom teeth and I still need to floss them.  But it's like a pep-talk.  Once I left the dentist, I was all excited about flossing and that's what I wanted to do as soon as I go home!  I would thread the flossing wand and begin flossing with a lot of gusto!  Then I realized just how many spaces there were between my teeth... there are a lot... flossing took a long time, and then I realized why I hate flossing.  Then I wouldn't floss.  Then my mom would remind me that I had an orthodontist/dentist appointment the next morning and I would rush to the bathroom and floss and brush my teeth really well (I'm a good brusher, just not flosser) and I would do the same thing the next morning so that when I walked into that office and sat in that chair, the dentist/orthodontist believed that I had been doing precisely as they asked me to do.

3. No gummy Foods for as Long as They're on Your Teeth.  I loved fruit snacks when I had braces.  I would eat gummy food any way and no bracket ever broke off, but let me tell you how nearly impossible it is to get the gummy food out from between the wires and away from your brackets.  It's horrible.

4. You Can't Actually Pick Up Radio Stations.  I will admit that I've tried this several times.

5. Everything Gets Stuck In Them!  'Nough said.

6. Orthodontists Are Big Liars.  Before I continue, I would like to take this moment to apologize if you are a dentist/orthodontist and are reading this.  Personal story that isn't mine.  My sister is finally going to begin the process of getting her braces taken off in less that two weeks.  At the beginning of her term, before they were even on, she was told that she would get them off in about two years (which, if you don't know, if fairly basic).  Almost a year after that deadline, she still has them on because the orthodontist just wasn't satisfied with their lineage (or the way the were lined up... I'm not sure if that's the proper way to use this word).

7. Horrible School Pictures That Make You Not Want to Smile a Tooth Smile for a Long Time.  I was unfortunate enough to have two school pictures with my braces on.  I discovered that if you smile and you have darker-colored braces on (I'll say that I did about 70-80% of the time) it looks like, from a distance, that you have holes in your teeth.  That's how mine looked any way.  So I only smiled in pictures with my mouth closed, and then when I got them taken off, I couldn't remember how to smile with my teeth showing without being awkward.

Thanks for Reading!

--Jude

30 comments:

  1. I must say I enjoy reading your lists very much ^.^

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  2. Oh good! I was afraid no one was reading them.
    I'm glad you like them! There's plenty more where that came from ^_^

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  3. I like lists :) idk why-the school nurse thinks i have ocd, that might be it-but i just really like reading them

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  4. Ohhh yes I remember when I had braces. Fortunately it was like 5 years ago. I totally had the same flossing problem. My orthodontist kept getting on my case because I wasn't flossing and I was like "hey its effing hard!!!!" :P She kept telling me to do it when I had a lot of free time like while watching a movie. Because its SUCH a great idea to floss your teeth while having movie night with the fam. Ewww.... I will say that I ate whatever I wanted when I had braces and I never broke a bracket. Not even kidding! The braces gods were nice to me. :P Overall my braces experience wasn't THAT bad. I had a super amazing orthodontist. I've heard horror stories like yours (I even know someone who had to have her braces completely taken off and put back on because the orthodontist messed up) but I had mine taken off exactly when my orthodontist said they would come off! :) I hope you don't mind that this comment is like the longest thing ever.... >.<

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  5. is braces really that painful? i am getting mine in november though.

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    1. You'll be sore after certain check-ups, but it's not excruciating. They're not painful so much as one more thing to work around in your mouth. They're just annoying...

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    2. No their not that painful. I got mine 4 weeks ago so I go to mine tightened for the 1st time in 4 days. The first 3 days I ate soft foods but I actually love my braces. Yeah I eat things I probably shouldn't but I am careful when I do it. Braces are actually fun and I am glad I got mine. (:

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  6. haha this is amazing ^__^
    such a good read !

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  7. Really nervous about getting braces, but i found this really comforting, for some reason! Thanks! - Emily oxoxoxo

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  8. Braces suck!!!

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  9. if i get braces i just hope its rainbow

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    Replies
    1. Me 2. Are we BFF's now?

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    2. You know you get to pick the colors of the ties right?

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  10. I'm just really stuck between getting clear braces, or normal metal ones with color! My orthodontist said if I get clear, it has to be clear on the top teeth, and metal on the bottom, which I don't mind, I just don't know what to get! I will probably end up getting the clear braces! Plus, this was really comforting!
    ~Alex

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  11. I have braces right now and they are hurting so badly!!!!!!!!! My favourite candy is mint gum but now I can't eat it! Well, it will all pay off in a year

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  12. i am in the process of getting braces i have already gotten a mold and currently i have eight spacers in what is the next step in getting them on and is it painful

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  13. I am getting braces in Jan im really nervous does it hurt???have already had molds done!!! Should i get clear or metal with colour???

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  14. i agree completely they hury when things get stuck in them to... im depressed about them still have them(most people say its worthit later but who cares!! thats later)

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  15. most pain you'll feel is when you get them put on and you have to bite down on that thing they put in your mouth...also when they apply the glue do your best to keep your tongue away from wherever they're applying it or you'll burn your tongue and get an awful taste in your mouth

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    Replies
    1. But some orthodontists put a bite block in your mouth when they put the glue on.

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    2. clear ones are usually made from sand, it's a lot of work and pain to get clear ones off,I rather have the metal ones.

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  16. i need braces by the end of the year, my teeth arnt bad, its just i have a gap in my front teeth and i had a molar taken out, but i look SO MUCH BETTER WITH NOTHING ON MY TEETH! i dont need anything else to make me look odd!

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  17. I get my braces on tomorrow, I am now looking forward to January 2014!

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  18. Aaaaah... Im gonn get my braces on. Im scared. So scared. Is it hurt muchhhh?? DDDD";

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  19. I hope i doesnt hurt as bad as everyone else is saying....

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    Replies
    1. Trust me it doesn't hurt!

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  20. I have braces on right now and I got used to them it doesn't hurt as bad as i thought they would its just that your mouth needs to get used to them but to me they hardly hurt i don't even feel like i have them on!!!!!(: Don't worry braces don't hurt! they only hurt when they tighten them so good luck!!! >.<

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  21. I had my braces off yesterday after three years and i can honestly say it was all worth it

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  22. Just got braces 2 days ago ... broke a bracket and I didn't eat or do anything wrong. WHYYYYYYYY

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  23. Your article is nice but braces are the worst... suffering with them

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